Alpha waves

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A is for Archetypes,
they dwell in our thoughts,
B is for Brains
hosting memes of all sorts.
C is for Cats which
we watch on our screens,
D is for Dreams where
all’s not what it seems.

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Drone

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My cat Florrie was flattened by a lorry.
My old pa was run over by a car.

My mate Mike met quietus with a bike.
My pal Ron fought a red pantechnicon.

Poor old Sue claimed that nothing ever stopped her — until, one day, she took on a helicopter.

Now I’m all alone …

Do I really hear a drone?


Inspired by this post from Colin McQueen

Sucking the colour from a puffin’s bill

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Waking up this morning with an earworm in my head,
Sucking the colour from a puffin’s bill,
Waking from a dream wondering why on earth I’d said
“Sucking the colour from a puffin’s bill.”
I was sitting on a train — Puffing Billy was its name —
When rising from my seat as I leapt up to my feet
Out the window then I flew as an arrow straight and true
All the while sucking colour from a puffin’s bill.

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Actualités

To the unjust, one trusts, just desserts come their way,
if it’s true, as they say, every dog has its day.

A plague and a pest on corrupt politicians:
it’s time they considered their ill-gained positions.

We used to have in olden times the desolation blues;
Now it’s masks and distancing and isolation news.


More verses with the Twitter tag #CoupletsForBreakfast

Edward III

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Christopher Robin is saying his prayers,
Asking his Maker for good names for bears.
He doesn’t like Edward, or Teddy, but dares
Winnie, or Pooh.

When he’s mounting the stairs
Or wandering in woods and digging out lairs
Pooh — say it loud! — is a good name for bears.


Edmund Bentley‘s rhymes for clerihew must be very few,
As the task’s quite hairy, do at least make them merry too!


There once was an Edward called Lear
Writing nonsense but, just to be clear,
He also did artwork
(and this was the perk)
Got to travel and not stay just here.

Telling tails

Once upon a tern three birds went into a pub.

Said the landlord, Godwit you three, pelican I help you?

Are you raven mad? they crowed, Of course you toucan, a nightjar of your finest!

Wren they were served they were swift to reach out. Suddenly sniped the landlord: Hoopoe do you think you are, pay the bill before you swallow, or you’ll egret it!

Puffin out their cheeks they craned their heads this way and that and tried to stork the stork but the landlord began to owl: Stop swanning about, you bustards, or flamingo away before I skua you all!

They groused but they had to empty their pochards for change, eider that or duck.

Then, Cuckoo, said one, this ain’t half bad, what a lark!

You know, you’re twite, said the second, I’m really choughed!

Think gull avocet, quailed the third, I woodpecker another, let’s have some moorhen! Ptarmigan, landlord!

After they’d wrynecked their pints, Good heavens a dove, came a shrike, Look at the time! Good nightingale, we must pipit! And off they flew.

The Ant and the Elephant

or, Tony and Lofty

Tony the Ant 🐜
he just wanted to rant,
so he climbed up the plant 🌿
to talk to an elephant 🐘
whose first name was Lofty,
and ever and oft he
was seen as a softy
till one day he coughed. He
said, “Don’t underest-
imate me, ’cause it’s best
you don’t.” Then he confessed
“I’m not wearing a vest.
This skin is my own,
I don’t want to moan
but it’s not mine to loan.”
Then he hung up the phone.
Poor Tony the Ant 🐜
then climbed down the plant. 🌿
He sighed, “You just can’t
ever rant to an elephant.”

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News in three lines

In Bristol thousands of young climate crisis protesters turned out in the rain to listen to Greta Thunberg.
Despite the atrocious weather the rally was peaceful and no rubbish was left behind.
Afterwards some locals complained that the protesters should have been at school and not churned the grass to mud.


Wars in Syria and elsewhere have resulted in many dying, others becoming refugees.
Meanwhile coronavirus is spreading almost unchecked around the world.
The good news, however, is that some Christian groups say the end of the world isn’t imminent because we haven’t had widespread famine.


The majority of the cabinet supported austerity after the global financial crisis of a decade ago, opposing pay rises for nurses.
Because of the referendum many foreign nationals in the health service have now left the country, leaving it understaffed.
This week the nation will again applaud health service staff who help tend those affected by the virus, including the prime minister.


Three pieces inspired by Félix Fénéon: in French nouvelles translates as both ‘news’ and ‘novels’

Tempest

Storm winds and rain still coming from the west;
don’t venture out if you’re not fully dressed.

Say what you like about storms, wind and flood,
they only leave heartache, and debris, and mud.

Monday morning, drab and drear,
Waiting for the sky to clear.


Responses to flooding from Storm Dennis around St Valentine’s Day

#CoupletsForBreakfast

The wee hours

Wee hours of the morning
It’s brass monkey weather
It comes without warning
We’re wondering whether
Dare we shrug off the blanket
Kick out the cold bottle
Whether we’ll tank it
Or leap out full throttle
And run to the en suite
Begin that fierce widdle
Before we complete
Weeing, right in the middle
Will toilet lid fall
Causing pain as it crashes
Damn Nature’s loud call
And its uncalled-for splashes


An ode to the male prostate (actually, there isn’t a female prostate)