Apportioning blame

The quality of spam is much declin’d.
It droppeth as the state of public discourse
Upon our eyes and ears is daily ‘smirched.
It blasteth him that gives and him that takes:
‘Tis mightiest in the mightiest: it ill becomes
The thronèd tweeter in his office,
Whose textspeak shows the force of ignorant power
(No attribute to awe and majesty)
Wherein doth sit his wanton spiteful thoughts.

But spamming sits below this septic sway;
It is embedded in the hearts of those
Who think to embody the soul of wit itself;
Their online power resembleth trolls’
Whose cruelty seasons hate.

Therefore, spammer,
Though selling be thy plea, consider this,
That in the course of commerce none of us
Shall see true bliss: we do think we prosper,
Though earthly riches proveth not that happiness
Lies simply on that way.

I have spoke thus much
To mitigate th’injustice of thy spam;
Which, if thou follow, this mild blogging platform
Must needs give thanks to merciful justice.

Parody of Portia’s speech in The Merchant of Venice


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